Goodwill Ambassador May13

Goodwill Ambassador

It is important when choosing a Goodwill Ambassador that you select someone who is believable and regarded as “one of the people”  — it also helps if nobody can see the strings attached! Why Thromby Air? Nobody Nose! How did we get Pinocchio to work for us? Easy… he owes us...

Scent Marketing

CEO Robert E. Coli discusses Thromby’s new strategy to increase ancilliary revenue: “We’ve got to sell stuff on our flights. Our shareholders demand it, but they haven’t tasted our coffee or croissants. As you know, our coffee can strip paint and our croissants taste like they were squeezed out by a dog.” “Luckily, our scientists have determined that smells can be used to induce people to spend. We know this works… Really, if you could smell ME you would give me money.” “Therefore we have obtained the smells of some top quality coffee and food. With these smells we can whip our passengers into a spending frenzy and they won’t even realize they are reaching for their wallets. They will feel compelled to buy and they won’t even know why! Don’t you just love science?” View page 2 to see Thromby’s scent marketing solution… PONG Ain’t Wrong! Thromby’s patented Passenger Olfactory Need Generation (PONG) system gives us an aromatic advantage when it comes to increasing revenue. Thromby Air… helping passengers realise their...

The Asterisk*

The favourite tool of our legal and marketing departments, the asterisk was originally an “ideogram” used by the ancient Egyptians. When the discovery of the Rosetta stone allowed translation of ancient hieroglyphs it was revealed that the * symbol carried the meaning “tighter than a cat’s….” Although today the asterisk is used to separate marketing spin from the cold, hard facts, the flavour of the original meaning remains. * – not to be confused with “Asterix,” the little French guy. Express your deep understanding of the secrets of modern marketing with a genuine Thromby Air Asterisk* T-shirt, available now from our official merchandise provider,...

Unlimited* Free Drinks...

When you fly Thromby Air your drinks are unlimited* and FREE OF CHARGE.** * while stocks last. **Other SLAPs may*** apply. These include a $75.00 toilet usage fee. An $85.00 seat befoulment surcharge will automatically be applied if so indicated by our patented “Passenger In-Seat Secretion” (PISS) detector system. ***...

We’ll Pay You To Fly*...

Those other airlines advertise ridiculous prices, some even charging $0 for a basic ticket. At Thromby we’re going one better… * or less. Airport charges, taxes and other SLAPs...