Maximizing revenue extraction from our passengers is a team sport! Thromby Air – Pay Up or Hold ‘Till You’re...

We have determined that some cunning individuals are trying to avoid paying our baggage fees.  For example, the new “Weekend At Bernie’s” luggage range allows them to carry 150 pounds of belongings for the price of a seat.  This is unacceptable, and requires vigilance from check-in staff. Thromby Air – We’ll Treat Your Carcass Like...

You must repay the money we have spent on your expensive training, and your repayments will be deducted from your salary.  Don’t worry… we’ll give you as many years as you need to pay us back for our generosity. Thromby Air – Servitude With A...

A tame reporter has neither the time nor the desire to seek the truth.  Therefore you can use them — a tame reporter will write what you say, call it news, and thank you afterward. Thromby Air – Always Making The...

While you might think that the price of fuel naturally gives incentives to improve efficiency and reduce carbon emissions, a tricky new game has been invented to do exactly the same thing.  We thought there must be more to it so we went to the Game Fair to investigate Emission Trading Schemes… Thromby Air – Soon to be Carbon...

Thromby Air’s recruitment roadshow informs potential pilots about the glamorous life of the modern airline pilot, including remuneration, training fee repayment schedules, and career enhancement options. Thromby Pilot Careers… Find Us Between The Other...

Even the best minds are sometimes perplexed by our hidden fees… Thromby Air – We’d Make Leonardo...

In this age of cut-price journalism the news services love getting Press Releases.  Develop good relationships with the media and write your press release well, so they can pretend they wrote it themselves. Remember, the “News” is what we tell them. Thromby Air – The Muse for...

As a Thromby spokesperson it is important that you learn how to make words without actually saying anything.  Here our CEO, Robert E. Coli, demonstrates this ancient Public Relations skill… Thromby Air – Spin to...

“Seat pitch” is the particular tone people use when complaining about how close together the seats are on a Thromby aircraft. Thromby Air – In Harmony With Shareholder...

Wage negotiations can be longwinded and complex. Or not. (It helps if you know which buttons to push!) * The word “intention” has no concrete meaning, as intentions can change like the wind. It is therefore a PERFECT word for a negotiator to use. It’s origins come from “In Tent”… beware of the negotiator using this word against you, for that is where he is trying to put you.   Thromby Air – Full of Good...

We dont expect* you to be with us for a long time, and we know that you are easily replaced. Having said that… welcome to the Thromby family! * or want Thromby Air: Glamourous Professions for the...

Why do we add a payment charge when you pay us, when really we should simply be grateful for your payment? Because it makes us even more grateful!   Thromby Air – Thankyou for your...

It is only fair that we occasionally slap you with a tiny little surcharge if you are so disorganised that you cannot go on a holiday without a suitcase. Yes, these charges are annoying and inconvenient, but we are doing our best to cope. Thromby Air – Helping To Lighten Your...

Our top notch training provides our telephone sales and customer service representatives the skills and knowledge they need. Thromby Air – A Global...

Our world class cabin crew training facility will ensure that you have the skills required of a Thromby flight attendant.* * After our intensive 3 hour training program you will be fully qualified to handle any passenger loading emergency. Thromby Air – Training Without The...

We have hired experts in squeezing out messages and hurling them through the airwaves, so that we can keep our passengers informed about what we think of them… The benefits have not been immediately apparent. See the Infinite Monkey Theorem on Wikipedia for proof that our Social Media strategy will work, eventually.   Thromby Air – Monkeys Making Shakespeare   Protect yourself against the hurlings of social media with this Monkeys Making Shakespeare T-shirt, available now from our official merchandise provider, FighterJox…...

Robert Edward Coli longed to get out of the family business but couldn’t think of another job that would utilise his skills and experience. Nonetheless he sold the company and sought out new ventures. Eventually he started a business that used his expertise in packing as many smelly creatures as possible into a tin can… Thromby Air was born. Thromby Air… Nothing fishy about...

CEO Robert E. Coli discusses Thromby’s new strategy to increase ancilliary revenue: “We’ve got to sell stuff on our flights. Our shareholders demand it, but they haven’t tasted our coffee or croissants. As you know, our coffee can strip paint and our croissants taste like they were squeezed out by a dog.” “Luckily, our scientists have determined that smells can be used to induce people to spend. We know this works… Really, if you could smell ME you would give me money.” “Therefore we have obtained the smells of some top quality coffee and food. With these smells we can whip our passengers into a spending frenzy and they won’t even realize they are reaching for their wallets. They will feel compelled to buy and they won’t even know why! Don’t you just love science?” View page 2 to see Thromby’s scent marketing solution… PONG Ain’t Wrong! Thromby’s patented Passenger Olfactory Need Generation (PONG) system gives us an aromatic advantage when it comes to increasing revenue. Thromby Air… helping passengers realise their...

The favourite tool of our legal and marketing departments, the asterisk was originally an “ideogram” used by the ancient Egyptians. When the discovery of the Rosetta stone allowed translation of ancient hieroglyphs it was revealed that the * symbol carried the meaning “tighter than a cat’s….” Although today the asterisk is used to separate marketing spin from the cold, hard facts, the flavour of the original meaning remains. * – not to be confused with “Asterix,” the little French guy. Express your deep understanding of the secrets of modern marketing with a genuine Thromby Air Asterisk* T-shirt, available now from our official merchandise provider,...